On Forgiveness

It is a common struggle to ask individuals to forgive one another, especially when the hurt comes from those we love, value, respect, and treasure. The path to complete forgiveness can be arduous and painful. We often find ourselves justifying why we should continue holding grudges, with a multitude of justifiable facts or evidence. Unfortunately, these grudges are the devil's weapon, trapping us in guilt and bitterness. Like the Gadarene maniac in Mark 5:5, we carry the heavy burden of unforgiveness, crying and cutting ourselves. It weighs down our hearts and minds, making it difficult to move forward. Do believers lay the weight of unforgiveness that can easily beset them (Heb 12:1)?

As believers, forgiving one another shouldn't be difficult when we face offences, yet it is often challenging. The Bible, particularly in Matthew 18:7, assures us that offences will inevitably come our way. This means that experiencing hurt and disappointment is a part of life. A significant reason we find it hard to forgive is disappointment. When we have certain expectations that aren't met, we feel let down. This disappointment can make us focus on what caused our expectations to fail, leading to grudges and resentment. We begin to dwell on the perceived injustices and wrongs done to us, making forgiveness seem even more challenging. Consider the story of the Israelites. When they left Egypt for the Promised Land, they missed the garlic and cucumbers they had in Egypt (Numb 11:4-6), even though they were given manna from heaven in the wilderness. This miraculous provision should have been enough, but their unmet expectations led to dissatisfaction and anger. They became angry with Moses, blaming him for their unmet expectations. This story illustrates how focusing on what we lack can overshadow the blessings we have, leading to a hardened heart.

How does this apply to our own lives? We often feel the deepest hurt from loved ones, such as family and friends. Their actions can hurt more because we expect them to understand and support us. When they don’t, it’s easy to hold a grudge. We quickly make excuses for them and believe in their best. They go out of their way to throw us under the bus. When we come to that realization, it can lead to pain and confusion. This can create a cycle of hurt and unforgiveness that is hard to break. Our relationships can suffer, and we might become more isolated and bitter. What, then, should we do? Do we avoid all interactions with people in order not to be offended? Should we get suspicious of their worst potential anytime they act funny? No, the answer in this matter is our FOCUS!

As previously stated, our focus, actions, and expectations are significant in this process. Let's look at Jesus Christ as an example. As the creator of Heaven and Earth, He came as a man and chose disciples to be close to Him. He shared divine wisdom and promised they would sit on the twelve tribes judging the world. Yet, when He needed them most, they deserted Him and even went fishing after his death. This incredible denial and betrayal could have led to deep resentment, but Jesus forgave. After His resurrection, Jesus forgave them by asking if they loved Him more than their catch, ultimately restoring them. This act of forgiveness was not only a demonstration of His divine nature but also a powerful lesson for us all.

Similarly, Stephen forgave those who stoned him because his devotion was to the Lord. Even in his final moments, he prayed for their forgiveness, showing that his heart was focused on God, not the wrongs done to him. When we do things for God's glory, it becomes easier to handle offenses. We are not motivated to please people; as long as God is glorified, we find happiness. If others don’t reciprocate, we are comforted by God’s presence and His joy in our lives. This perspective can transform our approach to forgiveness, allowing us to let go of hurt and embrace peace.

Being free from the bondage of unforgiveness and the pressure of trying to impress others is beautiful. Christ can set us free, helping us to remain calm and humble in His presence. By focusing on God's love and grace, we can release the burdens of bitterness and resentment. This divine love and grace offer Us hope and comfort, showing us the way to true freedom and peace in His embrace.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a challenging yet rewarding journey that requires faith, patience, and a heart willing to let go of past hurts. It is not an easy path but, it is a deeply rewarding one. By looking to Jesus and following His example, we can find the strength to forgive those who have hurt us and experience the healing power of God's love. Let us strive to cultivate a spirit of forgiveness, knowing that it brings us closer to God and one another. This rewarding journey can inspire and motivate us to continue on the path of forgiveness.

Action Points:

1. Identify those people, systems, or institutions who have hurt you and acted unjustly. You can write them down.
2. What common thread do you see in each of the events? Were you focused on your expectations from them?
3. Ask God to redirect your heart away from that pressure and fix your gaze on Him so that as you behold Him, you become changed into His image that you love, like Christ.
4. Begin to drop the stones of injury that you use to hurt yourself. Insist that you would no longer hold offences. Your heart does not have space to accommodate hurt as the love of Christ fills you.

As you focus on God, He becomes more prominent, making offences minor and insignificant. The spirit of God comes into your heart and makes it easier to let go and let God have His way. Don’t carry the weight of unforgiveness that others might be so generous to share with you! Who the Son of man sets free is free indeed (John 8:36).